Top, Bottom, or In-Between?

Hello Suckers!

This morning began with a nasty cold, followed by a cup of coffee from my local indian joint. The stuff tasted like piss. Anyways, I logged on to the twitter and found that a peep of mine left me a message about a story I should feature. Rather than summarize, go check it out. It's on the dangers of Barebacking.

Look:

Barebacking Story. Don't forget to click back!

Now that I got your attention.........

Listen:

Gay sex is a confusing act. As a result I've decided to break it down for you guys and advocate for safe sex along the way.

Straight people have defined roles in the bedroom. The man is the top. The woman is the bottom. Now this is not say that all women are submissive and all men are dominant. I know plenty of straight couples where the woman is the one calling the shots both in and out of the bedroom. I'm simply taking about biology. In the end, the man is penetrating the woman.

In gay sex the defined roles go out the window. Since men posses both a phallic object, and holes for objects to be put in, the who does what becomes more sticky. Lets break it down. Let's pretend the world is not slutty and everyone has a boyfriend. The secret to a long lasting, committed relationship is a great sex life. I've been amazed at how people who have nothing in common can be so happy with each others company if the sex is good. I can feel that hate coming, so I should also say that their is a lot more to a relationship than sex. All of that other stuff is important, and should never be overlooked, but I feel like great sex between boyfriends can decrease cheating, fighting, lying, and help create an over all stronger bond.

With that in mind, you and your partner have decided to take the plunge and have sex for the first time. Let's also assume your both virgins.

Two gay boys both virgins? Is such a thing possible? Maybe at 12...

Anyways, push come to shove, one will top, one will bottom. The difficult thing to decide is who should do what. Talk with your partner and discuss how you feel about each situation. If your partner is rather large down there, and you are average, that's something to consider. Also, if you masturbate to the thought of your man doing you, perhaps the answer is right there in the open. Q@A time.

Our couple.

Q: What if I want to bottom, but my boyfriend has a really big penis? I mean, that shit is scary!


A: If you really feel comfortable with your man, then explain that the size is an issue. Using a lot of lube, and going very slow, with lots of encouragement can help ease tension down there as well as in your head. Also, they make toys for big boys like you. Go buy one and play by yourself before playing with your man. 


Q: Okay thats all good, but my penis looks tiny compared to my boyfriend. Am I small or is he huge? What's average? It seems like all the guys on grinder have like eight inch penises.


A: First things first, they don't all have eight inch penises. They are liars! Secondly, average is 5.5 inches. Although according to a study by Sexologist Simon Levay, gay men on average are about 6.1 inches. So, go us! I don't know your size, but now that you know what average is, you can take a ruler and figure that shit out for yourself. 


Q: Phew! I'm not bellow average. That's good to know. How about foreplay? How long is long enough? What should we do?


A: How do you not know any of this??? The amount of foreplay depends on a lot of things, but I'd say at least thirty minutes of foreplay helps to release tension for both parties, and makes the sex a lot more enjoyable. Now this is not to say a quickie now and again isn't hot. To answer what you should do, just log on to a porn site. You'll get some ideas.


Q: So I'm a bottom. Should I never ask to top?


A: If you have no desire to, then don't. However, if you feel like trying out the other end of the spectrum tell your man what you need. You may find out that your 80% bottom, 20% top. This kind of versatility can lead to a more action packed sex life.


Thanks Billy.
Your welcome sucker.

They're ready to do it!

Now that we've covered the basics let's move on to the club scene. People often ask me how gay people know who will do what in a hookup situation. Now let's be clear. Gender Atypicality has NOTHING to do with being a top or bottom. I know some seriously masculine bros who are big nellys, and I also know some material girls who like to dominate. To quote a drag friend of mine who's a total top, "Bitch, don't touch the hair."

Don't touch her hair!

The best tactic for figuring out who does what is to simply ask. It's not rude and can save you both a lot of time. Now, don't walk in there and say, "Hi, I'm Billy, are you a top or a bottom?" Their answer will probably be a slap. However, if the situation looks promising, and the discussion begins to go towards filth, slipping in that small question can help ease tensions and fears.

Another thing, all gay sex doesn't have to end in anal. Oral is there for a reason, and if your honest about what position you are, you both might agree to cut it off at third base.

Versatile folks have the biggest advantage. They can sleep with most anyone they want to. Not limiting themselves has allowed them to become something desirable to all. Now if your not versatile, don't try to be. Some guys simply can't bottom. If you've given it your all and find it just isn't working, then stay true to yourself. Being a total top does exist. My only advice is make sure you are one before you advertise as such. Same goes for you bottom boys. Try topping, if it doesn't work don't worry. We love you just the way you are.

Let's connect back to the story I had you suckers read about barebacking. You really shouldn't do it. People of our generation have forgotten the dramatic effect HIV/AIDS had on the gay population during the 80s and early 90s. We take for granted the medicine that's been created, and don't take the disease itself seriously. I'm fortunate enough to have three role models from that generation who constantly remind me to be safe. Two are my gay uncles, the other is my mentor. Barebacking simply isn't worth the risk. Time for another Q@A.

Q: How can I prevent HIV transmission?


A:  Simple, ware a condom.

So this is a condom. I see.

Q: I'm a top only. Can I contract HIV from topping a positive bottom?


A: Although the chances are much lower, yes you can. Being circumcised is a big help, but nothing is a guarantee. Also, your normal germs can be very harmful to the positive bottom. Wearing a condom protects both of you. 

Alright, I got my condom, I'm ready for anything. 

Q: Condoms taste ichy. Should I use one during oral? 


A: That's up to you. If you don't use one, make sure you don't have cuts in your mouth. Also, swallow, DON'T SPIT! Swallowing allows your stomach acid to kill the virus. Spitting keeps it trapped in your mouth, and ups your chances of semen entering your bloodstream. Also, try flavored condoms. MMMM Cherry!

Q: I've been with my man for like seven years. Do we really have to use a condom?
A: If your both totally monogamous, go ahead and play raw. If you have any doubts about your partners fidelity, keep that rubber on. 


Q: My ex called and told me he's positive. I haven't been tested since we broke up, and I've have had unprotected sex with other people. What should I do?


A: Go get tested. If you come back positive, then make the needed phone calls. No need to worry people until you know for sure.


Q: I'm positive, is my life over?


A: No, being positive doesn't mean what it used to. A positive friend of mine always says, "Just take your pill hunny, you'll be fine."


Now that you've been enlightened, I need to go back to bed. I'm still sick after all. Just remember my devoted fans, gay sex is really complicated, but figuring it out, can unlock many possibilities for you and your partner. Remember that HIV is no joke and also that if your positive, we will all love you no matter what.

So it goes...

Please use a condom guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!