So I know all of you wait at your computers to hear what pearls of wisdom I've assembled. This week I had the company of the wonderful Jessica Chan. Jessica is an employee of Goggle, and works specifically for Youtube. She is an avid tweeter, and a funny one at that. Brought in by mentor and teacher Betty Ming Liu, Jessica came to teach us the strategies of how to pump up your Youtube channel. While watching Youtube Celebrity Fred, one classmate remarked, "If he can do it anyone can." Without any further who-ha, here are a few of Jessica's tips;
Listen:
Tip #1 Have a Broad, Original Concept.
You may not like Fred, but one can't deny his success. The genius of Fred is the simple concept; an older boy acting like a five year old and it has has gained a wide audience. It appeals to the children that he's imitating, as well as to older kids and parents who can watch him together. He's childish enough for children, but smart enough for adults. With over 2,000,000 subscribers, Fred must be doing something right. Give it up for Fred!
Another epic video that has had countless viewers for it's originality is the Rebecca Black Friday video. It's another one, that combines themes that both kids and adults can enjoy. I see it as a tame version of Tik-Tok by Kesha.
With the above two videos in mind, we see that originality, as well as a broad concept, can attract viewers. In the case of Fred, it keeps them coming back.
Tip #2 Witness Something crazy!!!
I don't know why, but we love to watch people go insane. Maybe it's reassuring us of our own sanity? Maybe we like to watch others suffer? Maybe it's just funny. It's a system that works though, and one I must pay homage to. Everyone has their favorite meltdown video, and nothing sparks conversation in a group like, "Hey, have you seen that video on Youtube, Crazy Girl on Train?"
With countless video responses, dance remixes, and videos about it, Crazy Girl On Train is easily one of Youtube's best crazy freakout videos. The genius of the person shooting the video is simply that he was in the right place at the right time, and knew to turn on his video camera. The result is Youtube gold. One other video of mention in this genre is a video that almost everyone on Youtube has seen. I present Greatest Freakout ever.
The summary of this section is simple. Whether it's exploiting a family member, or being near a loony on the MTA, a video camera, plus a meltdown equals subscribers and hits for your videos.
Tip #3 Create a Personality.
As class progressed, Jessica continued to shoot off pearls of wisdom. She told us that creating a consistent personality was another way to keep viewers coming back to your video blog. For example, take Sassy Gay Friend. Started by Second City Entertainment, this sassy figure has been sweeping in to save literature's heroines for over a year. His personality, mixed with his social commentary, has intrigued viewers and subscribers.
This goes back to Tip #1. The shit you just saw is original! I don't know who dreamed up Sassy Gay Friend, but they were having a good day. He's a figure that promotes equality, but due to his funny, stereotypical ways, he puts straight people who may not be LGBT comfortable at ease. His alarming personality helps him disarm viewers.
Tip #4 Do Something Useful.
Jessica spoke that a useful "how-to" video can really bump viewership. Although not my specialty, I felt like I should investigate this phenomenon and this is what I found. Michele Phan has over 1,000,000 subscribers. Her secret is advanced how to videos on how-to do your makeup in different circumstances. These videos stand out because they are fun, informative, and detailed. Offering a service has allowed her to build her brand while at the same time being entertaining. She's someone useful and that, suckers, is marketable.
Tip #5 Be An Active User.
The lovely Jessica had one last tip. If you are a part of the Youtube community, people will begin to notice you. Whether it's leaving comments on videos, friending people, or doing crazy response videos, being a part of the youtube community makes you stand out. This also includes posting videos regularly. If you do have subscribers they're more likely to pass you off to their Youtube friends if you post every so often. You want your subscribers going to work or school saying, "Oh my God, have you seen so and so's new video yet?" This all comes from being an active part of Youtube, not just posting videos.
Although Jessica had many more wise things to say, I realize you people have lives. For now, ta ta. Next post, I'll begin reviewing World of Warcraft Cataclysm. Till then....
So it goes....
Work in Progress
Vampire Picture
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
"Gangster Government" is the most racist, right wing, anti Obama movement yet!
Listen:
You suckers know I work in books. I was at the front of my store, when I was confronted with this disturbing image.
Look:
I picked up the book just to make sure I was reading it correctly. I couldn't comprehend the horrid display that was before my eyes. I opened the book, and began tearing through the pages to see what other examples of horrid racism were contained in it's pages. However, it scanned like a normal anti Obama book:
Bailout, GM, etc, etc.
The only thing terribly offensive was the cover and the language used. Nobody can argue that the same tittle, picture, and use of the word thugocracy...
which isn't even a fucking word
...would have been used if the president was a white man. You don't have to like Obama. I certainly don't like everything he does. Yet I respect him on his own terms. I do not blatantly, and hostilely, disrespect him because he is a person of color. I almost feel like all of the hate directed at President Obama is because he's a person of color! Is this country so backwards and prejudice that we will allow the leader of our nation to be portrayed as a gangster thug on the cover of a best selling book; simply because he is African American?
#2 most evil politician Michelle Bachmann seems to agree with the person who wrote the books forward, Michael Barone. Barone started this terrible trend back in '09 with a reoccurring column, and now with the help of author David Freddoso, this plague has spread into bookstores everywhere.
Sick yet? If anyone can convince me that this new plan of attack against our nation's leader is not direct and utter racism I will bake you a batch of cookies. So much for a post racial society.
So it goes.
You suckers know I work in books. I was at the front of my store, when I was confronted with this disturbing image.
Look:
I picked up the book just to make sure I was reading it correctly. I couldn't comprehend the horrid display that was before my eyes. I opened the book, and began tearing through the pages to see what other examples of horrid racism were contained in it's pages. However, it scanned like a normal anti Obama book:
Bailout, GM, etc, etc.
The only thing terribly offensive was the cover and the language used. Nobody can argue that the same tittle, picture, and use of the word thugocracy...
which isn't even a fucking word
...would have been used if the president was a white man. You don't have to like Obama. I certainly don't like everything he does. Yet I respect him on his own terms. I do not blatantly, and hostilely, disrespect him because he is a person of color. I almost feel like all of the hate directed at President Obama is because he's a person of color! Is this country so backwards and prejudice that we will allow the leader of our nation to be portrayed as a gangster thug on the cover of a best selling book; simply because he is African American?
#2 most evil politician Michelle Bachmann seems to agree with the person who wrote the books forward, Michael Barone. Barone started this terrible trend back in '09 with a reoccurring column, and now with the help of author David Freddoso, this plague has spread into bookstores everywhere.
Sick yet? If anyone can convince me that this new plan of attack against our nation's leader is not direct and utter racism I will bake you a batch of cookies. So much for a post racial society.
So it goes.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Top, Bottom, or In-Between?
Hello Suckers!
This morning began with a nasty cold, followed by a cup of coffee from my local indian joint. The stuff tasted like piss. Anyways, I logged on to the twitter and found that a peep of mine left me a message about a story I should feature. Rather than summarize, go check it out. It's on the dangers of Barebacking.
Look:
Barebacking Story. Don't forget to click back!
Now that I got your attention.........
Listen:
Gay sex is a confusing act. As a result I've decided to break it down for you guys and advocate for safe sex along the way.
Straight people have defined roles in the bedroom. The man is the top. The woman is the bottom. Now this is not say that all women are submissive and all men are dominant. I know plenty of straight couples where the woman is the one calling the shots both in and out of the bedroom. I'm simply taking about biology. In the end, the man is penetrating the woman.
In gay sex the defined roles go out the window. Since men posses both a phallic object, and holes for objects to be put in, the who does what becomes more sticky. Lets break it down. Let's pretend the world is not slutty and everyone has a boyfriend. The secret to a long lasting, committed relationship is a great sex life. I've been amazed at how people who have nothing in common can be so happy with each others company if the sex is good. I can feel that hate coming, so I should also say that their is a lot more to a relationship than sex. All of that other stuff is important, and should never be overlooked, but I feel like great sex between boyfriends can decrease cheating, fighting, lying, and help create an over all stronger bond.
With that in mind, you and your partner have decided to take the plunge and have sex for the first time. Let's also assume your both virgins.
Two gay boys both virgins? Is such a thing possible? Maybe at 12...
Anyways, push come to shove, one will top, one will bottom. The difficult thing to decide is who should do what. Talk with your partner and discuss how you feel about each situation. If your partner is rather large down there, and you are average, that's something to consider. Also, if you masturbate to the thought of your man doing you, perhaps the answer is right there in the open. Q@A time.
Q: What if I want to bottom, but my boyfriend has a really big penis? I mean, that shit is scary!
A: If you really feel comfortable with your man, then explain that the size is an issue. Using a lot of lube, and going very slow, with lots of encouragement can help ease tension down there as well as in your head. Also, they make toys for big boys like you. Go buy one and play by yourself before playing with your man.
Q: Okay thats all good, but my penis looks tiny compared to my boyfriend. Am I small or is he huge? What's average? It seems like all the guys on grinder have like eight inch penises.
A: First things first, they don't all have eight inch penises. They are liars! Secondly, average is 5.5 inches. Although according to a study by Sexologist Simon Levay, gay men on average are about 6.1 inches. So, go us! I don't know your size, but now that you know what average is, you can take a ruler and figure that shit out for yourself.
Q: Phew! I'm not bellow average. That's good to know. How about foreplay? How long is long enough? What should we do?
A: How do you not know any of this??? The amount of foreplay depends on a lot of things, but I'd say at least thirty minutes of foreplay helps to release tension for both parties, and makes the sex a lot more enjoyable. Now this is not to say a quickie now and again isn't hot. To answer what you should do, just log on to a porn site. You'll get some ideas.
Q: So I'm a bottom. Should I never ask to top?
A: If you have no desire to, then don't. However, if you feel like trying out the other end of the spectrum tell your man what you need. You may find out that your 80% bottom, 20% top. This kind of versatility can lead to a more action packed sex life.
Thanks Billy.
Your welcome sucker.
Now that we've covered the basics let's move on to the club scene. People often ask me how gay people know who will do what in a hookup situation. Now let's be clear. Gender Atypicality has NOTHING to do with being a top or bottom. I know some seriously masculine bros who are big nellys, and I also know some material girls who like to dominate. To quote a drag friend of mine who's a total top, "Bitch, don't touch the hair."
The best tactic for figuring out who does what is to simply ask. It's not rude and can save you both a lot of time. Now, don't walk in there and say, "Hi, I'm Billy, are you a top or a bottom?" Their answer will probably be a slap. However, if the situation looks promising, and the discussion begins to go towards filth, slipping in that small question can help ease tensions and fears.
Another thing, all gay sex doesn't have to end in anal. Oral is there for a reason, and if your honest about what position you are, you both might agree to cut it off at third base.
Versatile folks have the biggest advantage. They can sleep with most anyone they want to. Not limiting themselves has allowed them to become something desirable to all. Now if your not versatile, don't try to be. Some guys simply can't bottom. If you've given it your all and find it just isn't working, then stay true to yourself. Being a total top does exist. My only advice is make sure you are one before you advertise as such. Same goes for you bottom boys. Try topping, if it doesn't work don't worry. We love you just the way you are.
Let's connect back to the story I had you suckers read about barebacking. You really shouldn't do it. People of our generation have forgotten the dramatic effect HIV/AIDS had on the gay population during the 80s and early 90s. We take for granted the medicine that's been created, and don't take the disease itself seriously. I'm fortunate enough to have three role models from that generation who constantly remind me to be safe. Two are my gay uncles, the other is my mentor. Barebacking simply isn't worth the risk. Time for another Q@A.
Q: How can I prevent HIV transmission?
A: Simple, ware a condom.
Q: I'm a top only. Can I contract HIV from topping a positive bottom?
A: Although the chances are much lower, yes you can. Being circumcised is a big help, but nothing is a guarantee. Also, your normal germs can be very harmful to the positive bottom. Wearing a condom protects both of you.
Q: Condoms taste ichy. Should I use one during oral?
A: That's up to you. If you don't use one, make sure you don't have cuts in your mouth. Also, swallow, DON'T SPIT! Swallowing allows your stomach acid to kill the virus. Spitting keeps it trapped in your mouth, and ups your chances of semen entering your bloodstream. Also, try flavored condoms. MMMM Cherry!
Q: I've been with my man for like seven years. Do we really have to use a condom?
A: If your both totally monogamous, go ahead and play raw. If you have any doubts about your partners fidelity, keep that rubber on.
Q: My ex called and told me he's positive. I haven't been tested since we broke up, and I've have had unprotected sex with other people. What should I do?
A: Go get tested. If you come back positive, then make the needed phone calls. No need to worry people until you know for sure.
Q: I'm positive, is my life over?
A: No, being positive doesn't mean what it used to. A positive friend of mine always says, "Just take your pill hunny, you'll be fine."
Now that you've been enlightened, I need to go back to bed. I'm still sick after all. Just remember my devoted fans, gay sex is really complicated, but figuring it out, can unlock many possibilities for you and your partner. Remember that HIV is no joke and also that if your positive, we will all love you no matter what.
So it goes...
This morning began with a nasty cold, followed by a cup of coffee from my local indian joint. The stuff tasted like piss. Anyways, I logged on to the twitter and found that a peep of mine left me a message about a story I should feature. Rather than summarize, go check it out. It's on the dangers of Barebacking.
Look:
Barebacking Story. Don't forget to click back!
Now that I got your attention.........
Listen:
Gay sex is a confusing act. As a result I've decided to break it down for you guys and advocate for safe sex along the way.
Straight people have defined roles in the bedroom. The man is the top. The woman is the bottom. Now this is not say that all women are submissive and all men are dominant. I know plenty of straight couples where the woman is the one calling the shots both in and out of the bedroom. I'm simply taking about biology. In the end, the man is penetrating the woman.
In gay sex the defined roles go out the window. Since men posses both a phallic object, and holes for objects to be put in, the who does what becomes more sticky. Lets break it down. Let's pretend the world is not slutty and everyone has a boyfriend. The secret to a long lasting, committed relationship is a great sex life. I've been amazed at how people who have nothing in common can be so happy with each others company if the sex is good. I can feel that hate coming, so I should also say that their is a lot more to a relationship than sex. All of that other stuff is important, and should never be overlooked, but I feel like great sex between boyfriends can decrease cheating, fighting, lying, and help create an over all stronger bond.With that in mind, you and your partner have decided to take the plunge and have sex for the first time. Let's also assume your both virgins.
Two gay boys both virgins? Is such a thing possible? Maybe at 12...
Anyways, push come to shove, one will top, one will bottom. The difficult thing to decide is who should do what. Talk with your partner and discuss how you feel about each situation. If your partner is rather large down there, and you are average, that's something to consider. Also, if you masturbate to the thought of your man doing you, perhaps the answer is right there in the open. Q@A time.
 |
| Our couple. |
Q: What if I want to bottom, but my boyfriend has a really big penis? I mean, that shit is scary!
A: If you really feel comfortable with your man, then explain that the size is an issue. Using a lot of lube, and going very slow, with lots of encouragement can help ease tension down there as well as in your head. Also, they make toys for big boys like you. Go buy one and play by yourself before playing with your man.
Q: Okay thats all good, but my penis looks tiny compared to my boyfriend. Am I small or is he huge? What's average? It seems like all the guys on grinder have like eight inch penises.
A: First things first, they don't all have eight inch penises. They are liars! Secondly, average is 5.5 inches. Although according to a study by Sexologist Simon Levay, gay men on average are about 6.1 inches. So, go us! I don't know your size, but now that you know what average is, you can take a ruler and figure that shit out for yourself.
Q: Phew! I'm not bellow average. That's good to know. How about foreplay? How long is long enough? What should we do?
A: How do you not know any of this??? The amount of foreplay depends on a lot of things, but I'd say at least thirty minutes of foreplay helps to release tension for both parties, and makes the sex a lot more enjoyable. Now this is not to say a quickie now and again isn't hot. To answer what you should do, just log on to a porn site. You'll get some ideas.
Q: So I'm a bottom. Should I never ask to top?
A: If you have no desire to, then don't. However, if you feel like trying out the other end of the spectrum tell your man what you need. You may find out that your 80% bottom, 20% top. This kind of versatility can lead to a more action packed sex life.
Thanks Billy.
Your welcome sucker.
 |
| They're ready to do it! |
Now that we've covered the basics let's move on to the club scene. People often ask me how gay people know who will do what in a hookup situation. Now let's be clear. Gender Atypicality has NOTHING to do with being a top or bottom. I know some seriously masculine bros who are big nellys, and I also know some material girls who like to dominate. To quote a drag friend of mine who's a total top, "Bitch, don't touch the hair."
 |
| Don't touch her hair! |
Another thing, all gay sex doesn't have to end in anal. Oral is there for a reason, and if your honest about what position you are, you both might agree to cut it off at third base.
Versatile folks have the biggest advantage. They can sleep with most anyone they want to. Not limiting themselves has allowed them to become something desirable to all. Now if your not versatile, don't try to be. Some guys simply can't bottom. If you've given it your all and find it just isn't working, then stay true to yourself. Being a total top does exist. My only advice is make sure you are one before you advertise as such. Same goes for you bottom boys. Try topping, if it doesn't work don't worry. We love you just the way you are.
Let's connect back to the story I had you suckers read about barebacking. You really shouldn't do it. People of our generation have forgotten the dramatic effect HIV/AIDS had on the gay population during the 80s and early 90s. We take for granted the medicine that's been created, and don't take the disease itself seriously. I'm fortunate enough to have three role models from that generation who constantly remind me to be safe. Two are my gay uncles, the other is my mentor. Barebacking simply isn't worth the risk. Time for another Q@A.
Q: How can I prevent HIV transmission?
A: Simple, ware a condom.
 |
| So this is a condom. I see. |
Q: I'm a top only. Can I contract HIV from topping a positive bottom?
A: Although the chances are much lower, yes you can. Being circumcised is a big help, but nothing is a guarantee. Also, your normal germs can be very harmful to the positive bottom. Wearing a condom protects both of you.
 |
| Alright, I got my condom, I'm ready for anything. |
Q: Condoms taste ichy. Should I use one during oral?
A: That's up to you. If you don't use one, make sure you don't have cuts in your mouth. Also, swallow, DON'T SPIT! Swallowing allows your stomach acid to kill the virus. Spitting keeps it trapped in your mouth, and ups your chances of semen entering your bloodstream. Also, try flavored condoms. MMMM Cherry!
Q: I've been with my man for like seven years. Do we really have to use a condom?
A: If your both totally monogamous, go ahead and play raw. If you have any doubts about your partners fidelity, keep that rubber on.
Q: My ex called and told me he's positive. I haven't been tested since we broke up, and I've have had unprotected sex with other people. What should I do?
A: Go get tested. If you come back positive, then make the needed phone calls. No need to worry people until you know for sure.
Q: I'm positive, is my life over?
A: No, being positive doesn't mean what it used to. A positive friend of mine always says, "Just take your pill hunny, you'll be fine."
Now that you've been enlightened, I need to go back to bed. I'm still sick after all. Just remember my devoted fans, gay sex is really complicated, but figuring it out, can unlock many possibilities for you and your partner. Remember that HIV is no joke and also that if your positive, we will all love you no matter what.
So it goes...
 |
| Please use a condom guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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